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雅思作文批改,第一次写啊…麻烦高手点评…谢谢~有人认为政府应该控制暴力电影以减少社会上逐渐增高的暴力犯罪案件.Doyouagreeordisagree?Somepeopleholdtheviewthatviolenceinfilmsisoneoftherea

更新时间:2024-04-27 20:06:20
问题描述:

雅思作文批改,第一次写啊…麻烦高手点评…谢谢~

有人认为政府应该控制暴力电影以减少社会上逐渐增高的暴力犯罪案件.Doyouagreeordisagree?

Somepeopleholdtheviewthatviolenceinfilmsisoneofthereasonsthatleadtoviolentcrimessogovernmentshouldkeepitundercontrol.I’mstandingfirmlyontheirsidebythreereasons.

Tobeginwith,thedramaticendingsinviolentfilmswillwakeuptheevilmindsinsomepeoplesincethetoughguysinthemoviesmayluckilyescapebeingpunishedorevenbecomeheroes.Thosewhohaven’tformasenseofrightandwrongandcan’ttelldramafromrealitywillprobablybemisleadedtoaguiltyroad.

Dramaticendingsareonlycreatingevilideasinsomepeople’sminds,butthetricksinviolentfilmsareteachingthosepeoplehowtoperformaclevercrime.Toattractalargeaudienceandsellingmoretickets,thefilmwriterswilltryallmeanstocreatenewwittytricks.Oncethepotentialcriminalsappreciateandunderstandsomeofsuchtricks,theywilleitherchooseasuitableoneorcombineseveralonestomaketheirown,thuscausingtroublesforthesecureofoursociety.

Wittytricksanddramaticendingsarejustpullingupcrimes,butitistheviolencesceneswhichareignorantofpreciouslivesthatmakeacrimeintoaviolentcrime.Iftherewerefewercoldbloodedkillingandfewerfiercefightinginthemovies,oursocietymightbecomeamoreharmonyworld.

Admittedly,violenceinfilmsnotnecessaryalwaysleadstoviolentcrimes,andtheymayhavesomepositiveeffectsontheaudience.Governmentsdon’tneedtobanthem,butshouldimposelimitationsonthepercentageofviolenceinfilmsaswellasonagegroups.Inthisway,thedecreaseinthenumberofviolentcrimesispredictable.

卢文澈回答:

  我觉得你最后一段写的比较好,可以作为文章的中心论点,这样的文章写出来更好.下面是我觉得存在的问题1、首段重申文章的,但是要注意不要使用和作文题目一样的文字,要改写!eg.somepeoplehold改为Thereisaascendin...